||[Feb. 9th, 2006|09:24 pm]
tuesday i got called down to the police officers office to talk with her. it is truely neccesary for her to carry 2 guns in a school building. anyways. so asked me if i had my cell phone on my, and i said i didn't believe so. then she asked me if my cell number was 501-0913. it is, but i said i didn't think so. then she asked me again if i had my cell, and i pretended to check my purse and then said no.
they rest of the school day i was wicked freaked out. school ended, and i went to detention. i finished detention at like 2:40 and headed to work. i had my phone silent all day, so i didn't no i have messages and stuff. i decided to check my voice mail and stuff, and saw that my dad had called me five times. my dad left me a message and was like "jess dont call mr.martin anymore. he wants to press charges. call me when you get out of detention."
So eventually i called my dad, and he was fairly calm. reasoning being he was at work so he couldnt freak out. he asked me if i called him and i was like yeah....and we talked about it for a little while or whatever and then he had to go. he said we would talk about that and something else when i got home.
so the entire time at work i was wicked nervous to go home, because i knew my dad was going to completely exploded when we talked. i left work @ 6. drove home. got there before my dad, and sat in my bedroom. my dad got home, and velma told me to go out and eat dinner. i went out, ate, and we didnt talk to each other. then velma was like who's mr. martin. and i explained all that shiz nizzle and stuff. we got into a huge fight. and ofcourse they started blaming my for the talk becoming a fight. eventhough that wasnt neccasirily the case. my dad got wicked pissed and started slamming on the breakfast table and yelling. i got wicked pissed off cuz they wouldnt let me say anything. and he would keep yelling so i ran into my room and started freaking out.i had a panic attack and stuff. it lasted about 10 minutes until they heard my hyperventilating and velma came in and was like are you okay. finally i stopped freaking out after 5 minutes and they were like you need to go to the hospital, cuz i hurt my arm. i didn't wanna go cuz i have this fear about it, and i was begging them not to. and i wouldnt move. they said if i didnt go they were gonna call a hospital , so velma put my shoes on and i left with my dad. we got the hospital around 8. there was a ton of people there and shit. we didnt get into a room until 11. i met with the nurse and she took all my clothes and stuff. and then eventually a doctor came in to check my physically. then they said i had to wait for the clinitician to get there to talk to me. they said she would be there around 1 or 2 in the morning. 1 went by, and then 2, and so on. i fell asleep eventually. i woke up around 8, and they said she would be there in a couple hours. she got there around 9 and i talked with her for about 45 minutes. then my ddad talked with her for a little while. her name was kathy, and she was a social worker. she was extremely nice, and helped my out alot. she talked with my dad about school, work, college, and shit.
my dad took the rest of the day off from work and velma,him and me talked for a little while when we got home. they said that i needed to start working less and that they would help me pay my bills. they also said that they would give becker college a chance. i think they are really gonna change this time, for permanent. not for 2 weeks, like it always happens. kathy set me up with a therapist in fitchburg. i am meeting her friday at 1. if i like her, and im gonna stay with her, and if not we are gonna look for somebody else. i hope she works out thou gh...
anyways. im quite pleased with the results of this incident. they were well needed. and i truely believe that things are gonna change for ever this time. hopefully. and my dad actually tells me he loves me now. and velma isnt nagging on me about every little thing. its sooo much less stressful. i just couldnt take it anymore. i was getting headaches everyday and shit..
but its all better now. thank god. anyways i need to sleep and shit . good night.